Think You’re Ordinary? What Islam Says About You

Bismillah...

Muqaddimah

Hello, my wonderful friend. Have you ever sat quietly and asked your heart, “What is my true purpose?” As Muslim women, we wear many hats. We are daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, friends, employees or bosses.

But our main purpose, the one that defines us, is to be a true servant of Allah. This post is my summary of ideas from a book about the Muslimah. Its goal is simple: to help us shape ourselves into a complete Muslimah, beautiful in our akhlaq (character), our modesty and our aqidah (belief).

But before we learn how to walk the path, we must first understand why this path is so special.

Why Is the Muslimah’s Path So Honoured?

Let’s be honest. Sometimes the world makes us feel small. We hear stories from history, or see things today, that make us question our value. So let us look at what the Quran and the Sunnah really say about us.

1. The darkness before the light

The book reminds us that before Islam, in the time of Jahiliyyah (ignorance), women in many places had very few rights. In some communities, a baby girl was seen as a burden, and the Quran speaks about the cruel habit of burying baby girls alive (Surah An-Nahl 16:58-59 and Surah At-Takwir 81:8-9).

Then Islam came. It did not just give women rights. It demanded that their honour, value and rights be protected.

2. The great promise: for both men and women

This is so important. Allah’s love and His rewards are not just for men. Allah sees the heart, the piety and the amal (deeds). He makes this clear in Surah Al-Ahzab (33:35):

“Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their chastity and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so, for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.”

Read Surah Al-Ahzab 33:35 on Quran.com

Equal Before Allah

Allah rewards men and women side by side.

Look at that! Allah lists them side by side. Our path to Jannah is right there, equal in every way.

3. The big misunderstanding: Adam and Hawa (Eve)

Here is a story that Islam corrected. In some old stories, Hawa (Eve) was blamed for the “Fall of Man”. They said she tricked Adam a.s. into eating the fruit, and that she was the reason they were sent out of Paradise.

The Quran does not tell it that way. In Surah Al-Baqarah (2:36) and Surah Al-A’raf (7:20-23), Shaitan made both of them slip, and they both repented together. Allah taught them the beautiful dua (prayer) of repentance:

“They said, ‘Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.’” (Surah Al-A’raf 7:23)

So your existence is not a curse or a mistake. You are, and always were, an equal partner.

4. The world’s best treasure: the righteous woman

Islam did not only give women honour. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW also called a righteous woman the best enjoyment in this world:

“The world is an enjoyment, and the best enjoyment of the world is a righteous woman.” (Sahih Muslim)

SubhanAllah. Not a house, not gold, not a high-ranking job. You, in your piety, are the best this world has to offer.

5. Your God-given rights

Islam is a religion of justice. It did not just give us a high spiritual rank. It also gave us practical rights that were very rare in the world at that time. Here are some of them:

• The right to learn. You must learn your Fardhu Ain (personal obligations), and you are encouraged to learn Fardhu Kifayah (communal obligations), so you can help build the ummah (community).
• The right to consent. A woman cannot be forced into marriage. She has the right to give her consent, to receive her mahr (dowry) and to own it completely. She also has the right to be provided for (nafkah) by her husband.
• The right to justice. If a marriage is not working, you are not trapped. You have the right to seek divorce through khulu’ or fasakh, through the proper process (in Malaysia, the Syariah Court). If you have young children, you have the right to hadhanah (custody) and to claim support for caring for them.
• The right to fairness. Islam allows polygamy only with strict conditions of justice (Surah An-Nisa 4:3), and the Quran warns that being fair is very hard (Surah An-Nisa 4:129). In Malaysia, a husband must also get permission from the Syariah Court.
• The right to own. You have the right to inherit, to own property, and to invest your own money as you see fit. Your wealth is yours, and your husband should not take it without your permission.

This is Islam. A religion that protects, that defends, and that gives us the honour and security to fulfil our real purpose.

Becoming a Woman of Jannah

Okay, so we know our status is high. Alhamdulillah. But now comes the hard part. How do we become that best treasure?

1. Intention and action

It is easy to want to be solehah. We all have that desire. But just wanting is like wanting to reach the top of a mountain while sitting at the bottom. It does not work.

That desire must be followed by effort, sincerity and sacrifice. It means choosing Allah’s pleasure over our own desires (hawa nafs).

2. The two wings of a believer: knowledge and action

Here is an important rule: we cannot have one without the other.

• Action (amal) without knowledge (ilm) is not complete. You might be praying, but are you praying correctly? You might be fasting, but is your heart free of arrogance?
• Knowledge without action is not complete either. Knowing all the hadith about kindness does not help if we are still sharp-tongued with our family.

Two Wings

Knowledge and action must go together.

First, we must have Iman, believing in the six pillars: Allah, His Angels, His Books, His Messengers, the Last Day, and Qada and Qadar. Then, we must use that Iman. We must worship Allah with ikhlas (sincerity), hoping only for His acceptance.

The Six Hardest Tests

So what is the real sign of a solehah woman? Is it just about praying and fasting?

The book says she is someone who is seen as good by the good people around her. A well-known saying of the companion Abdullah ibn Mas’ud RA, reported by Imam Ahmad, puts it this way: what the Muslims see as good is good with Allah.

She follows the Quran, the Sunnah and the way of the Salafus Soleh (the righteous early generations).

But the book gives six major characteristics. These are not easy. They are the ‘final boss level’ of good character, and they need real mujahadah (struggle) against our own ego.

1. You are kind to those who are unkind to you

This is the big one. It is easy to be nice to nice people. But what about the person who always makes a hurtful comment? Our nafs (ego) screams, “Be rude back!” But the solehah woman takes a deep breath, controls her anger, and is still kind. Why? Because her kindness is not for them. It is for Allah.

2. You forgive those who hurt you

This is the path to peace. Holding a dendam (grudge) is like carrying a heavy, hot rock in your heart. It only burns you. It makes you anxious and sad. The solehah woman knows this world is too short to carry that rock. She forgives. Not because the other person deserves it, but because she deserves peace, and Allah loves those who forgive.

3. You connect with those who cut you off

Oh, this is tough. A family member stops talking to you. A friend ‘unfriends’ you. The easy thing is to cut them off too. But the solehah woman tries. She sends the salam. She asks, “How are you?” She tries to bridge the gap, all for the sake of Allah, because she knows the value of silaturrahim (tying the bonds of kinship).

Our Prophet SAW told us how serious this is:

• The reward: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, let him maintain his ties of kinship.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
• The warning: “The one who cuts off ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

4. You trust again, with wisdom

This sounds scary, doesn’t it? It does not mean being foolish or letting yourself be abused. It means you do not let one person’s mistake make you hate everyone. It means you believe in tawbah (repentance), and that a person who did wrong yesterday can change tomorrow. You give people a chance to fix themselves, just as we hope Allah gives us chances.

5. You speak kindly to those who ignore you

This is a test of humility. You see someone who has ignored or ‘ghosted’ you. Instead of ignoring them back, you are the first to give salam and a smile.

6. You stay respectful to those who insult you

This is the ultimate test of knowing your self-worth. When someone insults you, the solehah woman does not insult them back. Why? Because she knows her value does not come from people. It comes from Allah. A person with a calm and secure heart does not need to put others down, so she feels pity for the one who insults, not anger.

SubhanAllah. Imagine a world where we all tried to live by these six rules. That is the world Islam wants us to build.

Your Worth

Your value comes from Allah, not from what people say.

A gentle note: These tests are about our hearts and our manners. They do not mean staying in a place where you are being hurt or abused. Your safety comes first. If you need someone to talk to, you can call Talian Kasih 15999 (24 hours, WhatsApp 019-261 5999), Talian HEAL 15555 (8 am to midnight), Befrienders KL 03-7627 2929, or 999 in an emergency.

---

This is my summary of ideas from a book about the Muslimah. Quran translation: Sahih International. This is a personal summary. Please refer to an ustaz or official sources for evidence and rulings.