Kembara Hati Mawar Safiya

Hello my lovely friends! Phew! What a long, busy, but super interesting day it has been! Today! My feet feel a little tired from walking around, but my heart feels full and happy. Why? Because today, I got to be a helper for something very important! My Super Helper Job!  Today, Kak Mawar was part of a special team. Me and other nice ladies! We were like busy little bees, helping to run a big learning seminar. It was organised by a wonderful group called PUSPANITA JPM .  They are like a club for ladies who work with, or whose family works with, the Prime Minister's Department here in Putrajaya, Malaysia! Who was the seminar for? It was for about 60 amazing teenagers! These smart boys and girls are getting ready for a super-duper big test soon, maybe next month in November. The test is called SPM , it is like the final boss level of high school here! Very important! And guess what? My own dear youngest son is also taking the SPM test this year! So, my mommy heart...

  Hello my dear friends! Guess what? Yesterday, I picked one that looks like a sunny, happy song playing just for me. Look! It shows a big city right next to sparkly blue water. It looks like the city is holding hands with the sea! So friendly!  There are tall, tall buildings reaching up to hug the sky. And lots and lots of little white sailboats playing catch with the wind on the water. Whee! Go, little boats, go!  The sky is blue, the water is blue... everything looks so bright and cheerful! At the very top, big happy letters spell out: Baltimore , Maryland . That is a place far, far away in America, the USA! I looked at the picture and thought, "Wow, that looks like a super fun place!" A place where maybe people work hard in the tall buildings, but then on sunny days, they go sailing on the blue water. It looks like a happy mix.  Work time, and play time! My work day was mostly work time, hehehe. So, looking at this playful picture felt really nice. Like a little ...

Hello, hello my wonderful friends!  Today, I want to share a secret from my heart. Why do I, Mawar Safiya (or Canon Rider!), love riding my big motorcycle? And why do I see more and more girls riding big bikes too? Maybe you have wondered. Maybe not!  But after reading this, I hope you will see... this world of two wheels is not just for boys! Oh no! It is for us too! For brave, free, therapy, happy go lucky girls like you and me! Ready? Let's go! VROOM VROOM! 1. It Feels Like Flying! (Freedom & Being Brave) When I sit on my big bike and start the engine... RUMBLE RUMBLE... oh, the sound! It makes my skin feel all tingly and happy! That sound is not just noise. It is the sound of freedom! It says, "Mawar, you can go anywhere you want! Anytime you want!"  Sometimes people say, "Girls should not do that." But I listen to my heart. I do what feels right for me. And that makes my life feel happy and full! It's also my therapy. 2. I Feel Super Strong! (Pow...

Hello, my dear friends Today, my heart feels a little quiet. Not sad, not happy, just quiet. A little bit thoughtful. So, I went to look inside my treasure box. Do you know what I keep inside? It is my box of postcards, my paper windows to the world! Each postcard is like a tiny story from a faraway place. I opened the box slowly, and one postcard caught my eye. It felt like the right one for a quiet day. A castle in the forest It is a picture from Germany. On the postcard, there is a very beautiful, big building. It looks like a princess castle! The walls are white, the roofs are red, and the towers have round green tops, like scoops of green ice cream! Hehehe. The castle is hiding inside a huge green forest. So many trees, tall and soft, like a green blanket wrapped around it. There is grass too, bright and clean, like a carpet for fairies to walk on. It looks so peaceful. So quiet. So safe. Like a secret garden where nothing bad can happen. The story behind the picture I ...

Today, the world decided to run again. And I had to run with it. The fever is gone. The pain in my bones is gone. But the slowness, the quiet, the rest… it is all gone too. My sick days were hard. My body was a prison. But today, my work desk feels like a different kind of prison. The computer screen is awake. Beep. Beep. Beep. An email comes. The phone is awake. Ring. Ring. Ring. Someone is calling. My to-do list is awake. It is a long, long snake of words. Work, work, work. Rush, rush, rush. Just a few days ago, my world was my bed. It was a world of pain, but it was a simple world. Now, my world is this chair, this desk. It is a world with no pain, but it is not simple. It is a noisy world. A fast world. My body is better. But my heart feels tired. It misses the quiet. So, in the middle of all the noise, I do my secret magic trick. I reach for my box of treasures. My box of postcards. My box of quiet little worlds. My fingers find one. It is not a shiny, colorful picture. It is a dr...

Today was a loooooong day. Like, really, really, really long! The sun was still hiding under its blanket when my alarm clock shouted, "Wake up!" (It was 4 o'clock in the morning! Still dark outside!)  The moon was already smiling high in the sky when I finally walked through my front door. (It was almost midnight! So late!) Right now, my body feels like a sleepy, floppy noodle. Wibble wobble wobble.. Why was the day so super-duper long? Because Kak Mawar went on a work adventure! Far, far away to Johor! My mission? To be a super helper! I went to help some very nice people use a special computer system my team built.  Sometimes, computer systems are like tricky puzzle boxes. They hide the answers! My job was to show them the secret keys to open the box. The Run! Part (Going There) To get to Johor super fast, I took an airplane! Zoom zoom! Up in the sky! But first... the airport drama! Oh dear! We needed to fly at 7 AM. Very early! We went to check in because My friend c...

Today, the work did not stop. It is like a river. It flows and flows and never ends. There are emails. So many emails. Beep. Beep. Beep. There are meetings. So many meetings. Talk. Talk. Talk. There are reports. So many reports. Type. Type. Type. My head feels full. It is full of work things. My eyes are tired. They look at the computer screen all day. The screen is my world. It is a world of boxes, and lines, and words about work. It is not a very fun world. Sometimes, I close my eyes for one minute. And I dream. I dream of other places. Places with no emails. Places with no meetings. I dream of the sun on my skin. I dream of the wind in my hair. I dream of the sound of the ocean. I dream of travel. But then, I must open my eyes. And the work is still there. Waiting for me. My body is in the office chair. But my heart wants to be somewhere else. My heart wants to be free. When I feel like this, I have a secret magic trick. I have a box. A simple brown box. Inside the box are my paper ...

Today was a very, very hard day. My body, my house, decided to lock all its doors. My back said, "No, you cannot stand up straight." My knees said, "No, we will not bend." My waist said, "I am a frozen rock." I could not stand. I could not walk. My legs forgot how to work. The pain was a big, heavy blanket. It was everywhere. For days, I have been sick with this ‘demam urat’ . But today, it was the boss. I knew I could not fight it alone. Thankfully, I have a friend. A very good friend. He came to my house. He saw me. He did not ask many questions. He came with my own wheelchair. The one that has been my companion on other hard days. Today, that chair was my legs. That chair was my freedom. My friend was my hero. We went to the clinic. A government clinic. There were so many people. Everyone was waiting. We waited. And waited. And waited. One hour passed. Two hours passed. Three hours passed. Time was a sleepy turtle.  It moved so slowly. I sat in my whee...

Today is another slow day. The fever is still here. It is like an unwanted guest in my body. It makes my bones feel old. It makes my head feel full of cotton. My world is my bed, my pillow, and my blanket. I do not want to watch TV. The sounds are too loud. I do not want to read a book. The words are too blurry. So, I reach for my box of treasures. My box of postcards. It is my magic box. It can take me anywhere in the world, without moving my tired body. My fingers move past sunny beaches. They move past colorful flowers. Then they stop. They touch a postcard that is dark and serious. It is not a happy picture. It is a powerful picture. In the picture, there is a giant building. It looks like a black castle from a fairy tale. It has two tall, pointy towers. They are like two giant fingers pointing up to the sky. The whole building is covered in details. So many lines, and windows, and little statues. It looks like it is made of black lace. The castle is so big. It is bigger than all t...