7 Toxic Behaviours to Avoid in Close Friends
Hello my wonderful friends!
Life is like a big playground where we meet many, many people everywhere! Most people are kind and fun to play with. Alhamdulillah! But sometimes, we meet people who are a little bit... tricky.
They do or say things that don’t make our hearts feel good. They make us feel confused or sad or tired. It is super important to know about these tricky ways. Why? So we can keep our own hearts safe and happy! Like learning to wear a raincoat when you see dark clouds, so you don’t get all wet and cold.
A smart person shared some ideas about these tricky people (inspired by Ayaz Ali on Quora!). Let’s learn about them together, in a simple way.
Meet the 7 Tricky Friends
1. The Sarcastic Teaser
What they do: They say mean things, but pretend it is just a joke. “Haha, just kidding!” ...but their words sting like a little bee! Ouch! They might not care much if your feelings get hurt. They mostly think about making themselves look clever or funny, even if it is not nice.
2. The Secret Spreader | Gossip
What they do: Oops! They love to whisper secrets about other people. Sometimes the stories are true, sometimes they are made up! They might tell your secrets to others too, breaking trust. They often like making little problems feel like BIG, exciting dramas!
3. The Controller | Manipulator
What they do: This one is tricky! They try to make you do what they want by making you feel bad. Maybe they make you feel guilty (“If you were a real friend, you would...”). Maybe they get angry easily to scare you. Or maybe they pretend to be very weak and helpless (“Oh, I can’t do anything without you!”) just so you will do things for them. They are trying to pull your strings like a puppet master!
4. The Jealous One | Hasad Dengki
What they do: When something good happens to you – Alhamdulillah! You got a prize! You learned something new! They don’t feel happy for you. They feel... grumpy inside. They might say mean things about your success (“Oh, that was just luck!”). Or they might even try to secretly spoil your hard work or make you feel small. Their heart feels sad when your heart feels happy.
5. The Fault Finder (Critic)
What they do: Oh dear. They are like a detective who only looks for mistakes! They point out everything you did wrong. “Your drawing is messy!” “Your idea is silly!” They almost never say nice things or help you learn how to do better. They just find faults, faults, faults. It can make you feel like you are never good enough.
6. The Taker | Pengambil Kesempatan
What they do: They are mostly thinking about... themselves! “Me, me, me!” They might ask you for help all the time, but are never there when you need help. They use people like tools to get what they want, without really caring how you feel.
7. The Drama Queen or King
What they do: Woooosh! They make HUGE dramas out of tiny little things! Like a tiny paper cut becomes a giant, screaming emergency! They love attention. They want everyone to look at them and feel sorry for them, even when the problem is not really that big. It can be very, very tiring to be around them!
Why Are These Tricky Ways Bad for Us?
Being around people like this can feel like trying to carry a backpack full of heavy rocks!
- They make you feel tired (they drain your energy!).
- They make you feel sad or bad about yourself (they hurt your self-esteem!).
- They make friendships or relationships feel yucky and unhappy (that’s called ‘toxic’, like poison for your feelings!).
How Can We Keep Our Hearts Safe?
Remember
It is not your job to fix these tricky people. Your job is to keep your own heart happy and safe.
Here is how:
- Build a Little Fence | Set Boundaries: Imagine putting up a little, gentle fence around your heart. You can decide who comes close and who needs to stay a little further away. It is okay to say “no” sometimes. It is okay to say, “Please don’t talk to me like that.” You are the boss of your own feelings!
- Walk Away | Distance Yourself: If someone keeps making you feel bad, even after you tried talking to them or building your fence... it is okay to gently walk away. You don’t have to play with everyone on the playground, especially if they are not being kind. Spend your precious time with people who make your heart feel sunny and warm!
Protecting your feelings is not selfish. It is super important! It is like putting on sunscreen to protect your skin. You need to protect your happy heart too! Remember, you are wonderful just the way you are! Don’t let tricky people make you forget that.
You Are Wonderful
Protecting your feelings is not selfish. You are wonderful just the way you are.
If someone is hurting you and you do not feel safe, you do not have to face it alone. In Malaysia you can reach out to:
- Talian Kasih 15999 (24 hours), or WhatsApp 019-261 5999
- Talian HEAL 15555 (daily, 8am to midnight)
- Befrienders KL 03-7627 2929
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
(Inspired by ideas from Ayaz Ali, Quora Space: Psychology Behaviour)
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